Not quite as old as she feels, but not quite as young as she was

Not quite as old as she feels, but not quite as young as she was
Years of pain and struggles showing in her eyes
Her hair is turning gray
Her face is showing age
Her life is changing way too fast

She cherishes her memories of her youth
She curses the time wasted
She cries for her could have, would have, should have thoughts
She remembers why she is so blessed

The fight that once took her down is now a distant and fading pain
The battle goes on in her mind but effects her life less and less
With so much still left to do, she wonders if her energy will last

What wisdom will she pass on
Who will want to listen to her
Has she made an impact on life, or will her story be lost

She believes with all her heart
She prays with all her soul
She hangs on to her dreams

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow comes too fast
Her youth is gone but her spirit is strong
Her heart is full and her mind is slowing

With no regrets only hope for her children
She lives with new dreams
Not for herself
Dreams for her loved ones
Dreams for her girls

Today is here and tomorrow will be gone in a blink of an eye
Her story and strength, Her will to survive, Her loving heart and Her dreams for others
Will live on as long as she is remembered.

God has given her the greatest gift of all his love and the ability to love others with her whole heart.

For all those with youth on your side
Take a good look at the people who surround you
You might be surprised at who will offer you the advice you need.

Believe in God
Believe in Love
Believe in Yourself

Anything is possible

Wow- What a blow to my eago

The old saying " If it sounds too good to be true it probably is" has entered my life once again.

First bring my dreams crashing down and, then making more determined than ever to make it on my own.

Learning once again why I have a hard time trusting in good. Than realizing I will always believe in good things even when I get burned.

I believe that when someone takes advantage of me it is my job to overcome and prevail.

Yes I am referring to my book. Post Trauma: Facing my pain and Embracing Change.

Having no knowledge of being an author when this whole thing began I did what I though was a good investigation on my contract with my publisher.

Now with the help of some wonderful authors I have found out my resurch was not good enough.

I will be completely responsible for marketing my book and that will be a long road.

In spite of all this I have received some of the best feedback from these authors.

They have giving me some of the highest stars and told me a I was talented.

That's enough for me to continue fighting to reach out and spread the word about my book.

I believe I have something worth working hard for and in-spite of those who have sold me the moon and took it back I will never give up.

If anyone out there has ever been had I appreciate any help spreading the word about my book.

I will never give up.

Glass Breaks

I see you sitting high upon your glass pedestal

Looking at the world around you through tunnel vision eyes

Seeing only weakness, and mistakes of all others

Never giving credit to any other accomplishments

Never acknowledging their strengths

Pointing out all faults whenever possible

Never realizing that it is the strengths of others that hold you up on that glass pedestal

The strength to see past your weakness

The strength to look beyond your mistakes

The strength to love you in-spite of yourself

Not realizing if they walked away taking their strengths with them

You would come crumbling down from that glass pedestal

Left with nothing but your own reflection 

This is for my daughter and grand daughter

Mothers

I often wonder about those mothers you hear about in the news. You know the ones who have neglected or abused there own children. Or the ones who have abandoned a child for drugs or men who they love.

I have always assumed there must be an illness because no mother could knowingly harm a child unless there was an illness.


I find more assurance with the many stories I have heard over the years of women who will sacrifice everything for their children.

Stories of women who will work two jobs or go without new cloths for twenty years just to make sure their child has what they need.

Stories of mothers who would give up there family and friends and everything they knew to save a child from an abusive father.

Those stories that touch your heart and make your cry.

Some with happy endings and others leaving you wondering "where did she get the strength to fight to the end?"

I wonder about the difference in these women and what happened in there life to make them sacrifice anything including there lives just to save there children.

I wonder if they ever truly got the recognition or praise they deserve.

I find it hard to believe that you could ever feel anything other than true devotion to the greatest miracle god could ever grand you.

I know from being a mother that some things will never truly make sense to anyone but themselves. Some of the sacrifices you make for your children look different to those looking in.

They sometimes look like mistakes or stupidity. They sometimes look cruel and heartless.

What others won't ever see is the purity behind every mother in every decision she makes for her children.

Some will never see the grand plan behind the eyes, or the prayers said that help her everyday know that what she is doing is the best thing she can do at the time.

Most will never understand how many nights a mother spends wondering how she can do better. How many tears she will shed because she knows she will be the bad guy for many years.

I often wonder for these mothers if the true reward ever comes in there lifetime. Maybe they will only be rewarded when they walk through heavens gate to receive a hug from Jesus himself.

I admire mothers everywhere who will always but their children first, even when they have to sacrifice so much. Sometimes they even risk the one thing they don't ever want to loose, their own relationship with those children.

Its easier to be friends and never tell a child what they need to hear. Sometimes telling them what they need to hear will push them away, but never telling them will fill your hear with guilt and regrets.

I pray for all mother around the world who love with no exceptions and feel for their children but who will not have the answers all the time or for every situation. I pray for them to never give up and I pray for them to continue to love : even when it hurts.

Hope to see you there

I would like to invite you to some of the other sites I am currently on. I have even uploaded samples of my book to a few of them. I hope to see some of you there.

http://www.kindlemojo.com/members.php

http://www.freado.com/users/36709/renata-kell


http://thebookmarketingnetwork.com/profile/RenataKell

http://authonomy.com/writing-community/profile/

http://authonomy.com/writing-community/profile


I know that many of you are already on these sights so I hope you will look me up.



For those who haven't been to my blog in a while I have included a sample of my book. It is located in a widget at the top left hand corner. I know some of you haven't had the chance to read any of it yet so I feel this is something I want to do. I'm sure my publishers would disagree with this but I am hoping it will be like watching the first part of a movie and you will want to know how the story ends. I could just be loosing my mind. Ha Ha.

Thank You

Just having a little fun with making my own publicity. I have to say that first quarter numbers came in and they where not what I expected. I was reminded of how much work I need to be doing to make this journey go the way I want it to. I sometimes forget that I need to be on this everyday. I often let life get in the way and stop working hard on what I started. I have to say a huge thank you to all those who have purchased my book and a bigger thank you to all those who are sharing it with others. You are the difference between getting the word out and staying unheard of. I love all of you and I look forward to any reviews that come my way. I have had a few and they have been encouraging. Thank You