Another book teaser

Every so often when things get tough I take out my book to remind myself how far I have come. My book is about fifty fifty. Half of it will make you cry and half of it will make you smile. This particular piece makes me smile every time  This is the reason I have the strength to keep fighting even when I just want to lay down and give up.

Here is a memory that will be etched in my mind forever.

The first couple of months after I came home from detox where miserable. No one laughed and I spent the first seventeen days going through terrible physical withdrawals. My family was scared and sad and angry. I spent a lot of time in my room. I cried all the time and I couldn't say sorry enough I hardly participated in anything including watching TV. with my family.

Then one day I was laying in my room while Danny and the girls were watching TV. All of a sudden the girls started arguing about something. I just listened for a while waiting for Danny to step in. After several minutes of this I began to get aggravated. Finally I had enough. I came out yelling at them to stop fighting. I began lecturing them, including Danny for not doing anything.

To my surprise they all just stopped and stared at me. Then for no apparent reason they all looked at each other and began laughing. I tell you what I was getting angry and hurt for a split second. Before I could say anything they got up, came to me and hugged me. I remember crying thinking this is not funny. I didn't understand until I heard someone say “moms back”.

Apparently my lectures where missed. Ha HA

This was the first time I felt missed. Even though I was home for those couple of months, I truly wasn't myself.

This was the moment that I started to believe I was going to be o.k..

After writing this I decided to read it to my girls to see if they remembered that night. They laughed and told me that the fighting was staged and they were all in on it. They knew I would eventually come out and say something. This is impressive for a couple of reasons. One the worked together for me and two they knew me well enough to know it would work. I love you sneaky little shits.