Heavenly Father Today I Pray

Heavenly Father Today I Pray

 

To all that is holy and wise today I pray for my family

I pray for all the love of a million mothers and the strength of a million fathers.

I pray for all the wisdom of a million preachers and the faith of a million Christians.

I pray for all the knowledge of a million professors and the patience of a million kindergarten teachers.

I pray for the courage of a million warriors and the arsenal of a million army’s.

I pray for the selflessness of a million volunteers and the compassion of a million healthcare workers.

I pray for the innocence of a million babies and the trust of a million children.

I pray for light of a million stars and the warmth of one sun a million miles away

I pray for the protection of a million angles and the security of a million gates.

Mostly I pray for the path to you for a million years of heavenly love, peace, joy, and happiness.

To all that is holy and wise today I pray for my family

Our Children’s Lost Trust

Our Children’s Lost Trust

 

Years ago I sat through a sentencing hearing of a man who was convicted of first degree rape of a child for the second time against his own children. As I listened to the judge speek to the man something she said stood out above everything else. She told the man that she was giving him the maximum sentence that she could not only based on the brutal and devastating physical harm that he had done but more horrifying than that was the loss of trust he had created in his own children. I don’t remember much more of that day but those words have always stuck in my mind, so today I write based on her words.

Of course this is an absolutely worst case scenario of losing our children’s trust but how many other ways can we lose our children’s trust.

Our children often stop trusting us when we take away their security and feeling of safety. Whether we fight physically or verbally in front of them that feeling of a safe place can be lost so easily.

Our children rely on us always being there for them and so often one or both parents abandon their own children either by physically leaving or mentally ignoring their needs for their own personal agenda.

Our children look up to us as role models and depend on us to set the boundaries of right and wrong but as adults we forget they are watching and immerse ourselves in a world of drugs and alcohol.

Our children look to us to understand the meaning of love and yet many parents idea of love means loving many partners like a revolving door taking away all sense of stability from their children.

Our children want nothing more than our approval and too many times we set our expectations and standards so high that they never reach that feeling of approval.

Our children believe in us and what we say and all too frequently discover that we are hypocrites preaching one thing and doing another.

Our children find peace in being able to come to us but how often do we turn our backs on them when we do not approve of their choices leaving then no place to go when life gets too tough.

Now let’s pretend that we do not fit in to any of these categories. What about the loss of trust they get from the world around us.

Our children see the world as a scary and mistrusting place with the news splashing teachers, preachers, police officers, government officials and even some of our presidents who have lied, hurt, stolen, or even killed.

Our children can no longer feel safe in malls, schools or churches with people barging in and taking so many innocent lives.

Our children’s trust can crumble from something as uncontrollable as the unexpected death of a loved one. We don’t always have the answers to the question” Why?” How do they trust something they don’t understand?

More often than we can count everything our children learn has some kind of impact on their trust.

As the first victim of the man described above, I can honestly say life is a whole lot harder when trusting people does not come easy.

As a mother who has broken my children’s trust a time or two, I can honestly say it does change their outlook on life and it does affect their ability to make good decisions.

 

 

Battling Darkness

 Battling Darkness           

 

Darkness swoops in like a perfect storm full of confusing emotions and problems designed to derail your mind and body from the path you are traveling.

Hiding all signs that it is coming and swallowing all options, it leaves us reeling in a state of overwhelming fear and panic.

Overtaking our common sense and ability to reason, it traps us in negative thoughts and the inability to think through the simplest tasks.

Taking over our physical capabilities and leaving us hurting from head to toe.

Headaches, muscle cramps, stomach issues, are miserable gifts given to us by this horrible storm.

Challenging our strength and will to fight, parting us with our good senses and faith in our powers to fight back, it banks on us surrendering.

It never giving us credit for the greater authority who rules heaven, the one who gives us light and strength beyond our own mortal existence, the one who carries us when we are weak, the one who fights for us when we are in a dark and scary place. GOD is the ultimate arsenal, who will battle the darkness and win every time.

We often forget that we do not have to take on every challenge that is in our path alone. We only need to turn to the definitive answer and ask for help. We have to let go of our pride and realize some things our beyond our control but nothing is beyond his.

God has been leading our crusade against darkness and evil since creation began and he continues to lead us even as the world is inhabited with more darkness than ever. In the end righteousness conquer and the darkness will fail.

A lifelong Partnership!

A lifelong Partnership!

 

I have had the great honor of living with and loving my true lifelong partner for twenty one years.

We have been there for each other in good times and bad times.

When I am falling apart he is always there to put me back together and when he is falling down I will always be there to pick him up.

We created to miracles (our daughters) that are there when we are both falling apart to attempt to put us back together.

We are completely opposite and at the same time surprisingly the similar.

We complement each other and challenge each other.

We may fight with each other but we spend more time fighting together for the same goals and dreams we set out to achieve all those years ago.

When life throws us trials and tribulations we put our heads together to see if between the two of us we can create a solution to the situation at hand.

When the road were on stars to split and we wonder down separate paths we always find that shortcut pack to the road we started on and head in the same direction again.

On those rare occasions that the road we’re traveling seems long and we feel tired one of us always has just the right words to re-energize and if needed carry the other until they have rested.

We have conquered many obstacles and made many sacrifices for each other and even created chaos for each other, but through it all the love has never changed and the determination to keep what we have has never disappeared.

I cannot imagine the last twenty one years without my partner and don’t want to imagine the next fifty years without my partner.

No matter what life brings us I know that we will continue to be stubborn, heard headed, and impossible. And I am grateful for that because it works so well for us.

Danny I love you and, I thank you for your heart, your love, your willingness to stay even when it’s hard and for never giving up. You are my lifelong partner and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

You asked me to tell you everything was going to me o.k. so here it is. We will always have bad days and we can’t control the world around us but we can stick together and fight as hard as we always have. As long as we do that it will be better than o.k.

 

What a Day

What a Day

Have you ever had a day where it feels like the sky is falling and the ground is shaking.

A day when you might has well stayed in bed but instead you got up and put your underwear on your head and your pants in the fridge.

A day that is so full of emotion that you don’t know whether to play a little gospel music and rejoice the good in your life or put on a little country and cry over your stresses.

A day you don’t know whether to curse your past mistakes or laugh at your children for making the same ones.

A day when pulling out your hair isn’t a choice but a necessity.

A day that seems like taking a walk in the middle of a blizzard naked would be easier than this.

A day that that you would gladly trade to go sledding in the dessert across the sand covered in tar and pulled by a dehydrated camel who is hallucinating that he sees water in the distance.

A day that runs into a night, and your only hope for a better day tomorrow, is that it will be filled with dreams of chocolate, ice cream, and hanky spank me!

 

Well I might be a little overdramatic but that is how my day is going.

Crossroads and Sacrifice

Crossroads and Sacrifice

 

Many of us find ourselves at a crossroad in life when we have finally survived enough to make the changes we need to and walk a different life.

This is often a lonely and complicated place to be. We strive to make the right choices and often fight for our beliefs for the first time in many years.

We hold our heads higher than ever before and stand our ground causing all kinds of chaos in our everyday life.

Those who we love have learned to love the old us and may not be willing to accept the new and improved version of who we are.

We tend to challenge and push those around us to follow even if they are not ready.

We struggle with what is an acceptable sacrifice to pay for wanting a better life.

Do we sacrifice relationships, careers, hobbies, or do we sacrifice all the hard work it took to get to this place.

Do we bare down and hold on to hope or do we let go of our lives that we still want.

We have seen a better version of life and we want to share it with those who we love but we are unable to force anyone to open their eyes, just as no one could open ours until we chose to make the changes in ourselves.

We are unable to explain that our new road does not change our heart and love for those in our lives.

We often struggle with fear that our new road will change others hearts and love for us.

We know that the life we were living was not making us happy and life and choices that we choose now will do exactly that.

We know that sometimes we have to make sacrifices to hold on to that happiness but there are something’s that are so important to us that it makes this road a very long ,steep, and windy road.

Unfortunately some of the things that we will sacrifice will not be our choice at all, it will be others decisions to accept us the way we have become or refuse to love the new us.

I guess if that should  happen we should remember that we are not doing anything out of spite to hurt anyone, we are only trying to love ourselves enough to change the inadequate parts of our lives. Many of us have not ever been able to love ourselves at all and it feels good so we will have to stay strong enough to remember we are worth it.

This is out of my book

This poem was written during a time that was dark and scary. At the one year anniversary of my Step-sons suicide I found myself having a mental break down. I began group sessions and found myself surrounded my several people who had attempted suicide. I was confused and angry here I was trying to figure out my feelings of loss and yet my heart was reaching out to those who had attempted the same thing. At one point I actually spoke out in anger with them and told them exactly what happens to those Left behind. Rather than get mad at me they thanked me and said that it helped to see what could have happened to there family's if they had succeeded. I don't usually share things from my book but something is compelling me to share this one.

Our spirits come into this world with a beautiful set of wings intended to fly us through life.

Yet so fragile and easily clipped or broken

Powerful enough to heal and grow back but so often ignored.

Sometimes cut off at the base, other times clipped over and over till gone.

We are also granted angles with wings strong enough to carry us.

Angles that come in many forms, such as daughters, sons, spouses, family or friends, maybe even total strangers.

When life has clipped our wings and we find it hard to fly we might try digging a whole and climbing in.

We have a choice, HOLD ON TO OUR ANGLES, and let them fly with us or climb in and give up.

Here’s the problem with climbing in that hole and giving up, we than risk clipping the wings of our angles.

We leave them damaged and broken and searching for their angles.

Even with the power to heal, do we want to take that risk?

What if we are someone’s angle? We are unable to fly for them from inside that hole.

 

The Mirror

The Mirror

The mirror will Always show you the same things…

The mirror will Never show you the same things …

The mirror will Always show you, the color of your hair

The mirror will Never show you, your thoughts

The mirror will Always show you, the color of your eyes

The mirror will Never show you, your view of the world

The mirror will Always show you, the cloths you wear

The mirror will Never show you, your baggage you carry

The mirror will Always show you, your figure

The mirror will Never show you, your insecurities or fears

The mirror will Always show you, your facial expressions

The mirror will Never show you, your morals or beliefs

The mirror will Always show you, your body

The mirror will Never show you, your heart or soul

The mirror will Always show you, the color of your skin

The mirror will Never show you, the spirit God granted you

 

The next time you begin to judge someone based on their appearance…

Get out the mirror and judge yourself based on what you see?

Entitlement

 Entitlement

 

Have you ever met one of those people who just feel like there are entitled? 

You know the people who are never grateful but always need you.

 People who are always sorry when they feel like they are wrong, but are never sorry because you are always wrong.

The people who feel like you are too sensitive, not that they said something insensitive.

It could be a person who never meant it like that, you just took it wrong.

Maybe it’s a jokester who always says “I was just kidding you don’t have a good sense of humor”.

How about those people who ask you to do something but criticize everything you do. They could have done it right.

Oh and there’s always the “your twisting my words” or “you are putting words into my mouth” after quoting them word for word.

What about the people whose confidence is actually arrogance unless you have just met them.

I especially enjoy the people who everyone who meets them says “they are such nice people” but those who know them could tell you the real deal. Not that you would believe it cause “they are such nice people”.

I think of the people who “do so much” and you “do so little”.

These are the people who boast of their good hearts but cringe at the idea of complimenting someone else for theirs.

These People will stumble with their words if you flat out ask them to tell you something good about you, but can spend hours telling you how great they are.

Usually these people will show you affection when they want it, but if you need it you had better prepare for them to push you away.

Don’t get me wrong I know and love many people like this but today I was wondering if I was the only one who sees things like this.

There is no one on this earth that has the entitlement to treat others in such a way that leaves them wondering what is wrong with them or why they can’t do anything right.

 

America’s greatest “mental” Depression

 America’s greatest “mental” Depression

I’m sure as you turn on your television or as you listen to the conversations in the coffee shops you all here people complaining about our government or our economy. We all know that were going through troubled times and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. More troubling then where we stand on the financial totem pole is where we stand as a country.

As Americans we have always prevailed in difficult times and come out the other side stronger than when we started. Now as I listen to people talk there is an underlining issue that strikes me as the real concern that we should be focusing on. Today there are more people struggling with mental issues such as anxiety, stress and depression than ever before. As a nation we often ignore these issues finding it easier to explain “why” than to admit that it is a real problem. More often than admitted people find themselves turning to drugs and alcohol to cope with the symptoms of mental issues and more often than not the problem gets worse causing more harm to our country.

Here is a suggestion. What if  all of us, as part of the greatest country in the world, start reaching out to one another and start battling the real problems of our country. Just imagine if our country could be known for being the happiest, most stable, and cleanest (drug free) country in the world. Do you think we would still be low on that financial totem pole? Some of the answers we are looking for could be residing in the mind of someone who just can’t cope with all the stress. We have the answers people are looking for and all we need is the compassion and concern for our fellow people.

Remember, the government is only a small number of people who make up this great nation. They could probably use a little help from time to time. We the people, working together to solve the bigger problems could take a load off of them and maybe even help strengthen enough people who have fallen, that we could make some big changes in everything from who we elect to where we stand as a GOD loving nation.

We have all seen and experienced family, friends, and neighbors who are just looking for a solution to help them get through the day. Sometimes it is just a smile or a good natured hello and other times they might need us to point them in the direction of professional help. If we each start reaching out first to our family’s then neighborhoods, communities, cities, and states, eventually we unite once again as a great nation.

With all our great technology all you have to do is pick up the computer and search for our national helplines for mental issues, drug addictions, and abuse. If you prefer the old fashion approach you could look in your phone book in the government pages or call any doctor’s office or hospital. Sometimes just learning what you can do to help is as easy as going to a free group and listening to other people talk about their concerns or learning some simple and easy tools to use when getting too stressed. Let’s try and see how long it takes for our country to stand strong and proud again. This is a health issue that most are too proud or embarrassed to talk about but so many are dealing with on a daily basis. I bet if you asked some of your friends they would tell you that they are dealing with it or know someone who is dealing with it.                   America let’s fix our people than our people will fix our country.

Youth and Innocence, Age and Wisdom

Youth and Innocence, Age and wisdom

 

I always say that with age comes wisdom and I truly believe that. Recently I was reminded that with youth we have innocence and sometimes as we get older we lose some important things that we could still use in our later years.

 

Wisdom can prohibit our spontaneous decisions.

Innocence grants us a spontaneous nature

Wisdom robs our trust of the world

Innocence allows us to trust in life and love

Wisdom has us overthinking everything

Innocence keeps us from thinking.  ha, ha

Wisdom steals our hope for change

Innocence compels us to believe change is possible

Wisdom can be passed on

Innocence can only be lost

Wisdom is life learned

Innocence is learning life

Wisdom makes death imminent

Innocence makes living adamant

Wisdom is necessary to live on earth

Innocence is necessary to live in heaven

The Evil Innocence of Love

The Evil Innocence of Love

 

A young girl with the weight of the world crushing her spirit

A desire to be loved smothering her knowledge and wisdom

Her passion for life being replaced by her longing for attention

She wears her insecurities visible for him to use against her

He recognizes the words that will tear down her defenses

Worth so much to so many… her heart sees only the one

The one who can hurt her

The one who will break her

The one who will make her believe…in him

 

Justifying his actions as pure devotion

Cunning and cruel with an appearance of honor and respect

She needs to be rescued…he needs to be her hero

With blinders she resides in a tunnel

The longer she can’t see… the further down the tunnel she travels

The darkness is his home for her

The light is where she belongs

 

She has any army of angles

He has no clue

She is being protected

He has no chance

She will see the light

He will be alone in the dark

 

Time is her enemy

Time is his friend

Love is her friend

Love is his enemy

 

His evil intentions is no match for her heavenly innocence

His grasp is no match for her family

His intentions are visible to others

His strategy not genius

 

Evil versus LOVE,  GOD WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL!

 

 

 

 

Dreams

Dreams

 

I have often wondered and analyzed my dreams

Some funny, some confusing, some real, some unreal

I have often given power to my dreams

Some making sense, some making no sense

I have often disregarded my dreams

Some scary, some inspiring, some passionate

I have often had dreams while awake

Some of the future, some of the past,

I have often shared my dreams with others

Some with only a few, some with many

I have often forgotten my dreams

Some I wanted to remember, some I was happy to forget

I have often lived out my dreams

Some I chose to live out, some that lived whether I wanted or not

I have often had dreams for others

Some that will come true, some that are impossible

I have often listened to others dreams

Some that made me cry, some that made me smile

I have often had dreams speak to me

Sent to me by GOD, when I wouldn’t listen any other way

Some I cursed, some I praised, but all made me see

DREAMS what a wonderful, awful, exiting, terrifying, encouraging, discouraging, power of the mind.