Hidden Pain

Hidden Pain

 

A child so full of pain functioning as though nothing is wrong; She’s not quite sure what to do with it, so she hides it deep in her soul and never acknowledges it.

Growing and learning with a nagging feeling that there is something wrong with her, so different than others she knows that it will probably too hard to explain so she buries it deeper and forgets about it.

The pain fades but never leaves until she hardly recognizes it and life goes on.

As her world grows with a family of her own her focus pushes the pain so far into her mind that she figures it has left. With every part of her body and mind she convinces herself that everything is going to be o.k..

She talks about everything to anyone who will listen, except that faint sense that it is coming around again.

She works harder than ever to ignore it but sooner than later she will be smacked right in the face so hard that her head will become overwhelmed and her life she has created will be at risk.

Finally she realizes that she has to do something, a drink, a pill, a substance, something to make it go away. It works and she continues on like nothing has changed. She is a pro by now at hiding things so her family never notices.

What she doesn’t realize is now the pain is fighting hard to get out. Her solution is a problem that only she knows needs fixing. She knows she needs to STOP! How do you ask for help without risking everything? It doesn’t matter now is the time!

Thank God for being there. Thank God for the strength he gave her and her family. Thank God for her life!

Now there is nowhere to hide. The pain is out and it is stronger than ever. Her fight is just starting. She has to battle the same pain that has taken most of her life away and now she fights with a weaker mind and body. She becomes confused and scared and unstable yet she knows it is now or never!

Even with the biggest fight of her life ahead that hidden pain is out and that weight she has carried her whole life has been lifted. Her guilt and remorse from her decisions will eventually go away and her head will finally clear. Oh what a feeling.

Life looks a whole lot better even through the darkest moments when all she wants is to disappear into that painless place she once lived she now has the light and hope of the Lord leading her path and she never feels alone.

Her dreams have resurfaced and her family can finally get to know her. She no longer has to hide who she is or what she wants. She can only ask for their forgiveness and love along this long and bumpy road she has left to travel. It will not be easy but it will be for her soul to heal and her heart to mend and the rest of her life will be filled with joy and love that was lost for so long. Tomorrow may bring pain and fear and many tears but no longer will it be hidden, from here forward she faces it head on.