Drowning in the Consequences of My Mistakes
Why is it that just when life is supposed to be getting easier it seems to be getting more and more complicated?
It seems that no matter how hard we try life just won’t give us a break.
I once believed that if I corrected my mistakes that life would just get better but as more time passes I see more evidence of my failures.
I gradually picked myself up only to have my past knock me down over and over again. As though I never made amends or said I was sorry the mistakes I have made seem to live on in my children.
My life should be filled with joy of my accomplishments but instead my accomplishments seem to be disappearing on a daily basis.
I am constantly reminded that I can’t blame myself for everything and simultaneously reminded that I am to blame for so much.
If I could only grasp and hold onto that initial strength that once got me through the hardest times in life than maybe I could see light at the end of the tunnel, but for some reason I just can’t seem to hold on to any kind of hope and the darkness seems to come creeping back in time and again.
I seriously want to enjoy life more and start living for myself but it seems that every time I try someone else needs something more than I have to give.
I feel like I have paid my dues and have earned some me time but somewhere along the way I became the go to, got to fix it and punching bag for the most important people in my life. I don’t want to be that person any more. I just want to be the person who you want to hang out with.
I set myself up for complete isolation and it is starting to suck.
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