Monday, April 22, 2013

Just When Love is supposed to be good


Just When Love is supposed to be good

Loving someone with all your heart is confusing and amazing and heartbreaking at times.
You give and give and expect so little in return for years. You have your ups and downs. You have your knock down drag out moments and then just when things are supposed to be good you find yourself in a one way battle to hang on.
You think you have ironed out the wrinkles and made it through the worst of the worst. You love deeper today than yesterday and you look forward to the new and improved maturity of the relationship.
Oddly enough as your feeling grow stronger you feel an emptiness that you can’t explain, A loneliness that is tugging at your heart and a strong need to feel that passion that has vanished.
No matter how hard you try to figure it out you can’t seem to find an answer. Your mind begins to race with thoughts of the worst scenarios and your heart begins to break. You find yourself wanting communication but are met with deaf ears.
Life has gotten better in all other areas and now when things are supposed to be good, you feel like you are losing the one thing you have battle for so many years. Without reasons and no understanding you slowly find yourself lonely for the one thing you just can’t seem to make right.
The loneliness can’t be replaced and no one gets it. You have no one to talk to and when you do they don’t quite understand.
You often wonder how when everything was so bad there was no doubts and now when the best parts of life are happening you are constantly worried and wondering.
Has life taken an insurmountable toll one the one you love? Has life taken away the only heart you have ever desired? Is there any hope or are you just buying time for the inevitable.
You question why you both fought so hard to preserve something so great, only to have one of you just stop fighting in one blink of an eye. You tell yourself it will get better but you know that emptiness is getting worse by the day.
Why now when love is supposed to be so good?


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